Helen Collard (00:00)
Hello and welcome back to an ordinary Tuesday. I'm your host Helen Collard and would you believe we are on now episode eight? Episode eight? Where have those eight weeks gone? I hope that the podcast has been fun and of use to you so far and if it has please share it with someone else. It takes a second, it costs nothing and it really helps me out. So thank you once again for joining me.
We've had seven reflective weeks so far, pretty reflective, where I've talked about my life experience, I've talked about the next chapter pathway and why I built it, we've talked about taking action, making decisions and identifying what it is in life we actually want. So we're going to keep it a little bit more practical today. I have come up with 10 top tips to help
you feel better today. In fact, actually, there are 11. There were meant to be 10, but I added an extra one onto the end because it's one of my favorites and you'll have to wait until the end to see what that is. So what inspired this episode was me looking around at my library. I've got an extensive library of self-development and business books.
and I've also got a huge audible library as well and I've read all of these books or listened to these books and over the years taken bits and pieces from all of them and put them together into the way I run my life now. So I thought I'd pick out some of my favourites to share with you today. The other thing that's different about today to celebrate episode eight is that we now have a video. Hurrah!
I've overcome some of my technical challenges. So I'm now videoing this as well as recording it. You can find it on YouTube should you wish to see what my office looks like or possibly catch a glimpse of the cat wandering up the stairs and knocking a plant onto the floor or something. So whichever way you are seeing this or listening to this today, thanks for joining us. So let's get on with the episode. So the first tip.
is inspired by one of my favourite ever books and it's called The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan and also by The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. So what I want you to do is to give yourself five minutes, sit with yourself and ask this question.
What is the one thing I could do today that would make the biggest difference? Then write it down, put it on a piece of paper, put it somewhere you can see it or put it on a whiteboard, stick it onto your computer screen, stick it on a post-it note on the wall, write it down. What's the one thing I could do today that would make the biggest difference? So not 10 priorities, just one. And it might not be the most urgent.
thing on your list. It might be, it might not be something for anyone else. We can spend an entire day responding to other people's priorities, can't we? And, or responding to our inbox or whatever pops up in WhatsApp or whatever email comes through. And you're still not moving your own life forward. So,
For today, what's the one thing I could do today that would make the biggest difference? Write it down, do it. Tip number two, do a 10 minute life dump. Now this is inspired by Take Control of Your Life by Mel Robbins. And it's also inspired by the foundation pillar of the Next Chapter Pathway, which is my program.
We do quite a lot of work on this sort of thing. So set a timer for 10 minutes. We're going to do a 10 minute life dump. And in that 10 minutes, you just write down everything that's currently occupying your brain. Every single thing you can think of. It might be jobs that you've got to do. It might be decisions you've got to make, people you've got to see, things you've been avoiding.
Maybe you need to make some phone calls, send some emails. It might be ideas. It might be if it's like me, you might have a song going around your head that's just annoying you. Write it down. Write down anything you're worried about, things you need to buy, things you need to cancel. Just write it down, everything that's currently occupying your brain and don't organize it. Don't try and make it pretty. Just get it out and then just look at the list and put a line.
through three things that don't actually need to happen. And the chances are you'll be able to see far more than three things, but just scrub out three things and you've made a huge difference to your list and to how you feel. Because feeling better isn't always about ticking something off and getting it actually done. It's about realising how much you're actually carrying.
and how much you can stop carrying. So that's top tip number two. Life hack number three, change one thing in your physical environment. Now this is inspired by Atomic Habits by James Clear and also about in my foundation pillar, excuse me, stumbling over words. I don't edit these because I'd be there all day and we're all human.
So in the foundation pillar of the next chapter pathway. So the objective of this, one thing in your physical environment, you're not planning to declutter your entire house. That is a huge project. So instead, you're going to choose one thing and you're going to fix it. One thing that annoys you, maybe it's that chair in your bedroom that's piled up with clothes. We've all got one, haven't we? It's a chair drope or a floor drope is even worse.
So if it's that, just put those clothes away, put them in the wash, whatever they need to go, just make that chair back into a chair again so you can sit and read or whatever you want to do in there. What about the drawer that you can never find anything in? Everybody has one of those drawers that's just full of string and biros and keys and batteries and letters, some of which might be important, but when you go into that drawer to look for something, you can never find it.
just sort out that drawer, throw away what's not needed and make it so that you can find what you're looking for when you want it. It might be the pile of paperwork that's on your dining room table. You see, it's like I've got a window into your life here, isn't it? And I can see what goes on in your house because that's what goes on in my house. So that pile of paperwork, you could deal with that, file away anything that's been done already.
throw away anything that's not needed or shred it, put it in the shredder pile or just action anything that needs doing, get a little to-do pile. What about the cupboard that you hate opening? Is it in the kitchen? Is it a bathroom cupboard? That cupboard that you open and nearly everything falls out of it onto the floor. Why don't you just tidy up that cupboard and you will feel a lot better. Or it might not be.
physical thing. It might be something like your phone screen. What does your phone screen look like? Is it chaotic? What does your desktop look like on your your computer or your laptop? Mine, if I'm honest, looks like a dartboard. I am a big fan of screenshots. If I come across anything that gives me inspiration or I want to remember, I'll take a screenshot meaning to do something with it later or I will do something with it later but then it remains on my screen.
So every month I create a folder. So at the end of September, I will create a folder called September screenshots and anything I don't want to delete will just go in that folder and my desktop will be clear. It could be your handbag or your briefcase, whatever you carry around with you. It could be your car. You know, are you carrying around a load of things that don't belong to you and don't belong to you now?
so old diaries for example that can be either filed away or thrown away or other people's socks, tissues, half eaten, whatever. But just take 10 minutes, one small area of your environment and tidy it up and make it work better for the person you are now because your environment is constantly giving you information.
So if you're sitting in the middle of a mess, your environment is telling you, you are a mess, your head is a mess, your brain is a mess. So make those instructions and information that your brain is giving you in response to your environment, make it useful. So have a little tidy up and see how that makes you feel. Okay, life hack number four, a really, really important one, this. Probably my favorite one today.
and that is change the way you talk to yourself. This is inspired by two books that I really like. Number one, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy. And number two, Be Your Future Self Now by Benjamin Hardy. It's also covered in my build yourself pillar because this is a really important thing that we all do and we're quite often unaware of it and we...
we talk down to ourselves or we talk badly about ourselves and if we do that and we don't address it we start to believe it. So what I want you to do is observe yourself if you can, just take notice and every time a thought comes into your head that's a bit negative I want you to catch it. It could be something like I'm no good with money I don't do that, people like me don't get to do that or I'm not disciplined or
I'm too old. There's no place in the world for me for that. Or I'm not confident or I always procrastinate or it could be something even worse. Do you ever catch yourself saying something to yourself like, my God, I'm so stupid or I don't really look very good in this. I'm not as good looking as any other person. We all do this to ourselves and it's got to stop. So what I want you to do is notice these things.
and then think about somebody you love, think about your child or a relative or a friend or a colleague or somebody you admire. Would you say that to that person? Would you say that to a random person on the street? The chances are you wouldn't. So I want you to stop doing that. I want you to change it. And I don't mean writing yourself a list of ridiculous affirmations like I am confident, I am confident, I am confident.
But maybe you could turn something like, I'm not confident into, I am really becoming more confident because I've had a go at this when it was scary. You know, I tried that and I'm becoming more confident or I'm learning how to do this. And every time I do this, I get better at it instead of saying I'm not good at it. So it's a tiny change in language.
but language shapes the stories we keep telling ourselves. Okay, top tip number five, make one decision that you've been avoiding. This is inspired by Take Control of Your Life by Mel Robbins and once again, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. So I want you to ask yourself what decision,
have I been keeping alive because I don't want to make it? So what I mean by that is what's been occupying your head space? is something you've been burying your head in the sand about, so to speak? If we take my house example from the last episode, that was a decision I was keeping alive by, I was feeding that indecision by just not making that decision.
and it was making me feel worse and worse and getting decision fatigue. But it might be something tiny. It might be a huge decision like that moving house. So you don't have to necessarily make the big decision today. You don't have to decide, for example, what business you want to create or what job you want to go for or what partner you want. But you have to make the next decision.
the small decision that's going to lead to it. So send the email, cancel something you don't want to go to, book an appointment, ask the question, have the conversation, but choose between the two options. Just choose something because decision fatigue is absolutely real and an undecided decision takes up a lot of mental space.
And as I said in the last episode, if you haven't heard it, go back and listen to episode seven. you've decided, it's a huge relief. Okay, top tip number six, do a more of less of audit. This is a really simple one, inspired by build your life work and the art of spending money by Morgan House.
When I say the build your life work, I mean the work in my program. I was reading that out as if it was a book title there and it's not. What I mean is the build your life section of the next chapter pathway covers this in depth and the art of spending money by Morgan House is a really good book. It's a really simple exercise. So what I want you to do is draw a line down the center of a piece of paper and on the left, simply write
more of and on the right simply write less of and write down five things on the left that you want more of in your life that might be more fun, more friends, more adventure, more connection, more creativity, more money, travel, peace, learning, whatever it is write it down on that left hand side and then on the right hand side
Five things you want less of in your life and that might look like you want a bit less drama in your life. You want to do a bit less rushing about. You want to do less people pleasing. You might want less clutter or to do less scrolling, less obligation, whatever. And then what you do is you look at your list, you're five on the left, you're five on the right. You choose one from each column and you do something about it today.
So for example, if you want to see more of friends, you message someone. If you want to do less scrolling, why don't you turn off the app or put your phone into low notification mode or do not disturb mode. If you want more adventure, why don't you book something? If you want less clutter, why don't you fill one bag with stuff and take it to the charity shop or at least put it in the doorway so that next time you go out, you can take it to the charity shop.
the bin. So it's not just about reflection, it's turning reflection and awareness into action. Make you feel better, promise. Okay, life hack number seven. Find one thing you're spending money on that isn't making your life better. And again, we are inspired by Morgan House and the art of spending money. So
What are you spending all your money on? And what I want you to do for this one is something you probably don't want to do. I want you to open your bank app on your phone or on your screen by yourself. When you're quiet, just open it and look at your bank statement for the last 30 days and find one thing that you're paying for that you don't.
don't need or isn't adding value to your life. Now that might be a subscription or a membership or an app.
or something that you've bought repeatedly because it was convenient, or it might be a habit. You might notice how often you go out for a coffee, for a takeaway coffee, and you see how much that's costing you. And then just simply look at where your money's going and cancel something. Or make a conscious decision to keep it because it is worth it. So the point is not to deprive yourself here. You're looking at
Is my money actually buying me the life I want? And where am I leaking money? Where am I hemorrhaging money that I don't need to where that money could be saved and put towards something that does give you the life you want? Number eight, create one tiny habit that makes tomorrow easier. Now this again is inspired by Atomic Habits by James Clear.
So we're not trying to say here create a whole morning routine where you get up at five and you do yoga and you you become a completely different person. What we're talking about is one tiny habit that makes tomorrow easier. Now that might be putting your clothes out tonight so that tomorrow morning you're not running around trying to sort out an outfit and what you're going to wear for this whatever. It might be
filling a water bottle and putting a book beside your bed so you've got water and you've got your book for when you go to bed. It might be putting your walking shoes by the front door so that you then put those shoes on and go out for a walk. It might be putting the phone outside the bedroom. That's a great habit. It might be writing down tomorrow's one priority. That's also a great habit.
A really great habit that I got into a few months ago, inspired by a friend, is just writing down three points of gratitude at the end of the day. Three things that I was grateful for in my life, followed by three wins for the day, followed by three wins for tomorrow. So once you get your habit, it starts to make your life just 1 % easier.
and what you're doing is you're doing it for future you. The person you haven't yet become tomorrow's you will thank you for these little habits that you change now. Which brings me really nicely onto a book called Be Your Future Self Now by Benjamin Hardy. Number nine, do something your future self will thank you for.
So ask yourself, what could I do today that my future self would be really grateful I did? Now, one example that I do here, I absolutely hate putting fuel in my car. I hate it. So what I do when my fuel is getting low, I think, I could just get another 20 miles out this car, I'll do it tomorrow. I think, no, I'm going to go to the garage now. I'm going to fill it up and I'm going to fill it up for future Helen tomorrow. So she doesn't have to do this.
I try and do that with love it sounds a bit crazy but I try and do that and then every single time I wake up the next day and I think thank goodness I did that thank you thank you so it might be something for your future self like making an appointment it might be say starting a savings account it might be sending in a job application it might be clearing that paperwork clearing your desk so that future you can walk into your office
and sit straight down and feel good and get on with their day. It might be having a conversation, maybe an apology to someone to build a bridge in a friendship or a relationship. It might be booking yourself a holiday, starting a course, or it might be, I don't know, sticking 20 quid into your coat pocket so that next time you're out you find that 20 quid and you think, great, I can go for a coffee and a cake.
You can go to bed instead of scrolling so that you wake up feeling good and not overly tired and you're rested. And you know when we think about our future self we think we project into the future don't we? We look at ourselves and we think, this is the person I'm going to be. We do a lot of work on this in the next chapter pathway. Who is the person you're stepping into being or how do we become that person?
How do I become her? But the future you is not some completely different person at all. They're you. You're just making choices today that make their life a little bit better.
Life hack number 10 should have been the final one, but you'll soon see why it's not. Stop for five minutes and actually be where you are. Now, this is inspired by a really well known book, The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. And there's also a book called Flow. And now I have no idea if I can pronounce this person's name. Mihaly. Ss-s-s-s-s
I will put it in the comments, in the show notes. I'll put all of the books and all of the authors in the show notes and I can only apologise for my hash of pronouncing that but anyway, stop for five minutes and be exactly where you are. I want you to put your phone down. If you can, just go outside for five minutes or if not, just sit somewhere quietly.
for five minutes do absolutely nothing productive. You don't have to meditate but just sit with yourself. Notice what you can see, notice what you can hear, notice what you can smell. Try and notice what your body feels like, where your feet are on the floor. Just take a breath, see how your body feels.
Maybe drink your coffee, maybe you've got a cup of coffee or a tea. Maybe look out of the window and don't document it. Don't share it on social media. Don't turn it into content. Don't listen to a podcast. Just be there. Because one of the great traps when you're trying to create a better life is you become so obsessed with the next thing that we actually fail to experience the life we are living.
Okay, so so far we've looked at the life hacks that help us get clear, choose our one thing, empty our head, fix one annoying thing, the things that change ourselves. We've looked at changing one story you tell yourself, making one decision that you've been avoiding. We've looked at changing tomorrow, create one tiny habit, do something your future self will thank you for. And then we've looked at stopping and just being where we are.
for five minutes and that's really important. I don't want the takeaway of this episode to be here are loads of things you need to be or do. I want it to be here are 10 tiny little life hacks that we can implement to make ourselves feel better. So I did say to you that I have another tip for you which we're gonna shove onto the end. It's.
by no means last or least. There's a book called The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and again Benjamin Hardy was involved in this book. And what I want you to do for this one is stop looking at how far you have to go and look at how far you have come. I want you to ask yourself, where was I 12 months ago? And then write down what's different. In those 12 months, what have you learned? What have you achieved?
What have you survived? What have you started? What have you stopped? What are you better at? And what's changed that you barely notice? Because you're already focusing on the next thing, so look at what's changed. We're very good at measuring ourselves against where we want to be. That's the gap. But when you measure yourself back to where you started, you're looking at the gain.
And inside the Next Chapter pathway, we often have a book club and I did do the book The Gap and the Gain in that book club. So all of the episodes that I recorded for that are inside the membership. I think I put them onto YouTube as well so you might find some of those on YouTube. So there we go. I want you to write down 10 things you're proud of for the last year and they don't have to be impressive. They just have to be
yours because it's about recognising how far you have already come. And that's the end of today's episode. I hope you've enjoyed it. I do hope that if you have enjoyed it you're happy to share it with a friend or on your social media or somebody that you think might benefit. Please like and subscribe, it really helps me out and I will see you next week.
